What’s holding you back?

DirectionThere’s so much that I want to do. I’ve got an exciting To Do list that’s all about creating things for my new business; written stuff, videos and artwork. Plus my own personal development stuff – things that I’m reading, things that I’m learning…

I recently went on some kind of ‘money mindset’ webinar and learned that my entrepreneur ‘type’ is dynamite! I’m creative and have tons of ideas, but now I need to organise my time. I wonder if I could do drawing and painting in the evenings, listening to music instead of watching telly?

I’ve read that I must commit to my dream: The dream that is my new reinvented life and reinvented business. But as of yet my dream is vague… How can my gifts help other people? Should I create motivational artwork, goal setting calendars and worksheets? I’ve only got a fuzzy idea of where I’m going with this; and yet I’ve written an e-course on goal setting. I suppose I just have to do my own e-course so that I can fine-tune my direction!

The weird thing is that I’m creating the journey that I myself need to go on; I’m creating the courses that I need! I keep surfing the internet like a magpie seeing shiny courses that I want to take… Courses about blogging, being creative, becoming an entrepreneur, online marketing, meditations for confidence, webinars about how to run an online business, and how to have a healthier money mindset. I discover inspiring online entrepreneurs and I want to buy their programs, yet something holds me back. Oh yes – the people selling the courses are saying I’m hesitating to invest in myself… But I can’t help thinking that deep inside somewhere I KNOW this stuff already! I’ve read a lot of books and done a lot of courses and you can keep learning forever without taking action.

I’ve already written the content for at least three e-courses. I love writing! But the next big step is to create the videos.

That is what is holding me back.

Sitting in front of a camera is scary and not as much fun as writing.

What is holding you back? Could you challenge yourself to do something that you’re afraid of?

Brave Me meets Scared Me

Brave Me meets Scared Me

Better than a bucket list

Any RoadSo, after admitting that I don’t know who I think I am, but I do know who I think I might like to be I decided to distil my hopes for the next year into a manageable To Do list. Then I decided to also think about why I want these things and how exactly I will get them.

What do you want? Why do you want it? How will you get it?
Be more confident, calm, improve self-esteem. I will be happier. My daughters will be happier. Self-hypnosis MP3Country walks.
Healthier body Live longer. Yoga, running, swimming
Healthier diet Live longer. Eat more fruit, drink more water
Publish a book Achieve a life-long dream! Schedule regular writing time

My list was longer but you get the idea. You could make one of these too. A good way to think about column 2, ‘Why do you want it?’ is to play a little game with yourself called, Why is that important?

More than a To Do list, I guess I would call this an Action Plan. It’s not better than a bucket list* really, it’s just different. This is my plan for Right Now. But making a bucket list at some point would be fun too!

I’ve already been working on these things, bit by bit, since I completed the exercises in my own e-course: How to get what you want, and want what you get. (It’s free.) I even made myself a reward chart to remind myself of why I’m doing these things. There’s no time-scale or pressure but I just give myself a gold star whenever I take action towards my goals. You could use an online tool like Joe’s Goals to do something similar.

But I like a printed one, stuck on the kitchen door that reminds me each day how well I am doing. It’s got a column for activities, a column for stars and a column for rewards. I just copied the rewards from my ‘What do you want?’ column above!

I drew it by hand on a piece of A4. It only took me 5 minutes. Are you going to make one?

*Things to do before you “kick the bucket”.

Reasons to be cheerful #R2BC

if you want it I do love Michelle’s blog link-up (affectionately known as a ‘linky’) which is all about being grateful. For November it is being hosted by Becky at Lake’s Single Mum.

I really want to focus on appreciating the good things in life this month, so on Tuesday I went to my first Buddhist meditation class, which had the theme ‘Grateful Feels Good.’

Here are my reasons to be cheerful this week.

1) I tried meditation and I liked it. Gently guided by a Buddhist monk I breathed in golden light and breathed out dark smoke. Random thoughts rose to the surface and burst like bubbles in a drink. I listened to the idea of moving away from cherishing the self, and instead cherishing others.

“Put yourself slightly off-centre. Put others at the centre instead, then you will actually feel happiness and peace.”

2) My house. After 13 years of narrowboat life I now very much appreciate living in a cosy cottage with central heating. I have discovered microwave cooking and relaxing bubble baths. I adore my new washing machine. Turns out 21st century life has a lot going for it.

3) My daughters. My youngest baby turned four years old this week. We celebrated with cake, jelly and balloons. My daughters teach me to be joyful every day.

What is making you cheerful right now?

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Reasons to be Cheerful at Mummy from the Heart

Do you know who I think I am?

IMG_1382I must confess that I am afraid. I am lost. I know that I want to start a new business, one that helps people in some way. I know that I need to write on this new blog that I have created. Because for years I blogged at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife but now I’m no longer living on a narrowboat. I’ve lost my identity. I need to reinvent myself. But I don’t even know what I’m going to reinvent myself into. At the moment I’m ‘in between’ my selves. I’m in my chrysalis.

However, I do know that if I wait around for my blog idea and my business idea to be perfect I will never get it off the ground. So, I bravely and honestly present myself here: Completely as yet un-invented. I’m at the in-between stage between Narrowboat Wife and The New Me.

I don’t know what to write.

So what if someone came to me now and said, ‘I’ve started a new blog and I don’t know what to write?’ I suppose I would ask them why did they start that new blog? And if she were honest then Scared Me, (also known as Other Me) would reply,

Because blogging is what I do. It’s woven itself into the fabric of my life. For the last three years I have absorbed like a sponge every bit of blogging information and advice that I can. I’ve been to blogging conferences and done blogging courses. I’ve become a professional blogger. I’ve always loved to write. It would just seem odd if I wasn’t blogging.


I started blogging at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife because everybody was always asking me what is it like, living on a narrowboat with kids? It was difficult and beautiful. There was plenty to write about. We were always having adventures. There were always interesting challenges to confront.

And now? What are your challenges now?

A lack of self-confidence and a lack of identity.

Who do you think you are?

I do know who I want to become. I want to be more confident, and improve my self-esteem. I want to get my driving licence (literally) and get in the driving seat of my own life again (figuratively). I want to take care of my body and my mind with yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, swimming and running. (Maybe not all at once – ha ha!) I want to become healthier; drink more water and eat more fruit. I want to finish writing my book and send the first draft to a publisher. I want to offer personal development e-courses that help other women to find their own true purpose in life.  I want to live in a character cottage beside the sea. I want to run a business that makes other people happy, inspires people and gives other people the confidence to be themselves and achieve their dreams.   I want to be a calm and confident parent. I want to go on foreign holidays. I want to go on a hot air balloon ride! I want to take up drawing and painting again. I want to grow old gracefully and become wise.

So look at me now, in my chrysalis: And see my dreams. Somehow I will reinvent myself. And while I work out how to do it I will blog about it.

What are your dreams? What are your challenges? Are you in a chrysalis? What will you be?

Top 5 Life Lessons

5 Regrets of the DyingLast March I blogged about Bronnie Ware’s article The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. It is a frequently re-blogged and re-read article about the life-changing concepts that she learned in her work as a nurse in palliative care. It had a profound effect on me and inspired me to write this To Do List (pictured). I still keep it as the screen saver on my phone, and use it as a daily reminder of what really matters.

Now Kate, who blogs at Kate Takes 5 has suggested writing your own top 5 life lessons and linking up to her Listography Linky. I must admit I can’t help borrowing from some of Bronnie’s suggestions to make my own list. So here’s mine.

Top 5 Life Lessons

1. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

This is a nugget of wisdom from the gorgeously quotable Oscar Wilde. To me, reinventing yourself is really about getting back in touch with who you were supposed to be in the first place. It is about remembering yourself.

2. Be brave.

Oh if I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be this. Stop being afraid and just trust yourself!

3. Don’t worry so much.

When I was younger I was a fan of this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist.)  Sadly I just didn’t pay enough attention to it and continued to worry.

“Some of your hurts you have cured, And the sharpest you still have survived, But what torments of grief you endured, From evils which never arrived!”

4. Spend time with the important people.

Imagine looking back on your life and finding that you had been too busy for the people you love the most! In the past I have been guilty of spreading myself too thinly. I was a social butterfly and felt I was missing out if I wasn’t juggling dozens of friendships all at once.

I now feel that I’ve prioritised the people who are important. I have moved nearer to family and I visit my best friends whenever possible.

5. Follow your dreams

I know it sounds cheesy but I love to see people following their life’s purpose. I am so attracted to people who are passionate about something – whether that’s music, art or whatever. If I could give just one piece of advice to my daughters it would be follow your dreams. I even wrote them a poem with that as the title. Because some dreams come true. And I confess, like Kate I have been a bit of a barefoot, beaded hair hippie in my time.

listography-1There are no rules to Listography so if you want to join in just write your Top 5 Life Lessons post on your own blog and then linky it up to Kate’s blog. Next it’s nice to visit some of the other bloggers lists and leave them a comment.

What would be your Top 5 Life Lessons?