The easiest way to forgive yourself

This month I’ve been practicing ‘letting go’ and one of those most important things I’ve noticed was that I need to let go of the idea of being my ‘best self’ all of the time. Holding on to that idea doesn’t allow me to make mistakes, or to learn from my mistakes.

I drew a cartoon to visualise this idea for myself and then ironically I wanted to re-draw it and improve it before publishing it on this blog. I thought that the cartoon wasn’t good enough. I could see that I’d made some mistakes! I’ve written outside of the lines and drawn the body the wrong shape. But if I wait for the time to make my pictures perfect there may never be any pictures on this blog. (I learned this from Leonie Dawson’s Wild Donkey Secret to Getting Stuff Done.)

So today I am letting go of the idea that I’m going to be my ‘Best Self’ all of the time.  Can you accept that you’re a person who makes mistakes? What idea could you let go of, just for today?

Letting go of my Best Self

Accepting that I am a person who makes mistakes.

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What’s holding you back?

DirectionThere’s so much that I want to do. I’ve got an exciting To Do list that’s all about creating things for my new business; written stuff, videos and artwork. Plus my own personal development stuff – things that I’m reading, things that I’m learning…

I recently went on some kind of ‘money mindset’ webinar and learned that my entrepreneur ‘type’ is dynamite! I’m creative and have tons of ideas, but now I need to organise my time. I wonder if I could do drawing and painting in the evenings, listening to music instead of watching telly?

I’ve read that I must commit to my dream: The dream that is my new reinvented life and reinvented business. But as of yet my dream is vague… How can my gifts help other people? Should I create motivational artwork, goal setting calendars and worksheets? I’ve only got a fuzzy idea of where I’m going with this; and yet I’ve written an e-course on goal setting. I suppose I just have to do my own e-course so that I can fine-tune my direction!

The weird thing is that I’m creating the journey that I myself need to go on; I’m creating the courses that I need! I keep surfing the internet like a magpie seeing shiny courses that I want to take… Courses about blogging, being creative, becoming an entrepreneur, online marketing, meditations for confidence, webinars about how to run an online business, and how to have a healthier money mindset. I discover inspiring online entrepreneurs and I want to buy their programs, yet something holds me back. Oh yes – the people selling the courses are saying I’m hesitating to invest in myself… But I can’t help thinking that deep inside somewhere I KNOW this stuff already! I’ve read a lot of books and done a lot of courses and you can keep learning forever without taking action.

I’ve already written the content for at least three e-courses. I love writing! But the next big step is to create the videos.

That is what is holding me back.

Sitting in front of a camera is scary and not as much fun as writing.

What is holding you back? Could you challenge yourself to do something that you’re afraid of?

Brave Me meets Scared Me

Brave Me meets Scared Me

Do you know who I think I am?

IMG_1382I must confess that I am afraid. I am lost. I know that I want to start a new business, one that helps people in some way. I know that I need to write on this new blog that I have created. Because for years I blogged at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife but now I’m no longer living on a narrowboat. I’ve lost my identity. I need to reinvent myself. But I don’t even know what I’m going to reinvent myself into. At the moment I’m ‘in between’ my selves. I’m in my chrysalis.

However, I do know that if I wait around for my blog idea and my business idea to be perfect I will never get it off the ground. So, I bravely and honestly present myself here: Completely as yet un-invented. I’m at the in-between stage between Narrowboat Wife and The New Me.

I don’t know what to write.

So what if someone came to me now and said, ‘I’ve started a new blog and I don’t know what to write?’ I suppose I would ask them why did they start that new blog? And if she were honest then Scared Me, (also known as Other Me) would reply,

Because blogging is what I do. It’s woven itself into the fabric of my life. For the last three years I have absorbed like a sponge every bit of blogging information and advice that I can. I’ve been to blogging conferences and done blogging courses. I’ve become a professional blogger. I’ve always loved to write. It would just seem odd if I wasn’t blogging.

Challenges.

I started blogging at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife because everybody was always asking me what is it like, living on a narrowboat with kids? It was difficult and beautiful. There was plenty to write about. We were always having adventures. There were always interesting challenges to confront.

And now? What are your challenges now?

A lack of self-confidence and a lack of identity.

Who do you think you are?

I do know who I want to become. I want to be more confident, and improve my self-esteem. I want to get my driving licence (literally) and get in the driving seat of my own life again (figuratively). I want to take care of my body and my mind with yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, swimming and running. (Maybe not all at once – ha ha!) I want to become healthier; drink more water and eat more fruit. I want to finish writing my book and send the first draft to a publisher. I want to offer personal development e-courses that help other women to find their own true purpose in life.  I want to live in a character cottage beside the sea. I want to run a business that makes other people happy, inspires people and gives other people the confidence to be themselves and achieve their dreams.   I want to be a calm and confident parent. I want to go on foreign holidays. I want to go on a hot air balloon ride! I want to take up drawing and painting again. I want to grow old gracefully and become wise.

So look at me now, in my chrysalis: And see my dreams. Somehow I will reinvent myself. And while I work out how to do it I will blog about it.

What are your dreams? What are your challenges? Are you in a chrysalis? What will you be?