The Break Up Bucket List

Love letterRecently I discovered this great blog called The Break Up List. When Ali Burns’ nine year relationship ended, she made a list of things she’d been meaning to do over the past few years but never quite found the time.

“A year and a half on, I feel like a completely different person. I no longer need My Break Up Bucket List to help me survive my break up, but I continue on with it because it helps me remember who I am, pushes me to try new things and enjoy life to the fullest.”

It has inspired hundreds of people to do similar and has been featured twice on The Huffington Post. There’s some really good advice in Ali’s 10 lessons learned from creating a break up list. I’m going through divorce at the moment and when I discovered her blog I immediately thought I should definitely make a Break-Up List! But then I realised I have one.

On New Year’s Eve I made a list of things to do in 2014 – some big like go on holiday, go in a hot air balloon, and some small like drink champagne, draw cartoons, and go swimming. I don’t think I’ll do all of these things in one year. I’m putting stars next to the ones I’ve done so far. It’s exciting to plan new adventures – and you don’t have to be divorced to do it. Are you gonna have a go?

The Break Up Bucket List

1. Drink champagne. ⭐
2. Eat smoked salmon. ⭐
3. Have fun with Star. ⭐
4. Visit Simon and Geka. ⭐
5. Go on a retreat.
6. Take up yoga. ⭐
7. Do Cosmic Kids yoga with my daughters. ⭐
8. Take up meditation classes. ⭐
9. Start doing self-hypnosis again. ⭐
10. Join the Zen Habits Sea Change Program. ⭐
11. Blog. ⭐
12. Draw cartoons. ⭐
13. Make videos. ⭐
14. Complete the Ecourse Entrepreneur course.
15. Sell ecourses.
16. Teach a workshop.
17. Visit Russ and Vicki.
18. Visit Claire and Chris.
19. Visit Anna and Scott.
20. Visit Zoe and Mario. ⭐
21. Visit Marsworth. ⭐
22. Save a deposit for a house.
23. Increase my income a lot.
24. Have regular business mentor meetings with Star. ⭐
25. Go abroad. ⭐
26. Become a safer driver. ⭐
27. Pass my theory test.
28. Pass my driving test.
29. Buy a car.
30. Go to the beach. ⭐
31. Spend a weekend beside the sea. ⭐
32. Read a book about assertiveness.
33. Eat more fruit.
34. Drink more water.
35. Write a book.
36. Edit book.
37. Get book published.
38. Paint. ⭐
39. Swim. ⭐
40. Go on a hot air balloon ride.
41. Complete all the exercises in the book Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind: Think rich to get rich
42. Do a parenting course. ⭐
43. Start a gratitude journal. ⭐
44. Read The Dharma Bums (Penguin Modern Classics)
45. Divorce my husband.

 

 

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How to enjoy Valentines Day even if you hate it

Love letterIf you’re single, or if your partner is away this Valentines Day you may be planning to ignore the whole entire thing because it’s “too commercial.” Bah humbug! This is the perfect opportunity to have a Valentines Day that has been planned and designed by the one person who knows you best. That’s you!

Step 1:

Buy yourself a treat. Champagne, chocolate, flowers, or something a little more unusual. If you’re on a budget pick a posy of wild flowers. If you’re on a diet create something delicious but healthy. Check out the Mouthgasmic recipes on Star Khechara.com

Step 2:

Do something you really enjoy. Take yourself on a date, rent a movie you love. Or organise an entirely perfect day for yourself.

Step 3:

Write a love letter to yourself.

What?! That sounds ridiculous. And difficult. But it could be that it’s just been too long since you said something nice to yourself. I had a little help from Story of Mum. Every second Wednesday of the month Story of Mum host a make date.

What is a #somum Make Date?

It’s a chance for mums to get together on Twitter and tweet while we attempt to do something creative. I had absolutely no idea what to write to myself when I arrived on Twitter on Wednesday night this week. But after answering a whole load of questions I was able to write something quite lovely. Read How to write a love letter to yourself.

Watch this.

This is just beautiful. It’s not from Story of Mum, it’s from Soul Pancake. A video of some random people who bravely wrote love letters to themselves. Very cool.

And finally;

My gift to you. This free e-course will help you to appreciate yourself a little more.

Happy Friday!

love,

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REALLY excited about this…

life3DOn New Years Eve I began what has turned out to be an ongoing project for January. I’ve been completing the exercises in Leonie Dawson’s yearly best seller, The Create Your Amazing Year workbook: The Life Edition.

I cried

‘Releasing’ the year that has just ended, I cried. I wondered if that is because they are such powerful exercises, or because I had some BIG STUFF I had to let go of this year? It might have been the Prosecco I was drinking… My New Years Eve was a quiet but bubbly celebration, with just me and this colourful workbook. Despite the crying, it couldn’t have left me feeling more positive about the year ahead!

Just the parts that sing to you

Some of it may be a bit hippy for some but I found it to be a simple colourful bit of healthy ‘releasing’ the old and welcoming the new. I couldn’t think of 100 things to do in 2014, but that’s OK. Leonie says “Fill it all out or just the parts that sing to you, (either is perfect.)” There’s goal setting, dreaming, list-making and collage-creating. The thought-provoking exercises are fun.

It’s become something I’m working through bit by bit and I’ve found I really begun to look forward to each little evening session where I grab some time to quietly muse over my plans, dreams and schemes. You can’t help but feel cheerful about all the goal setting and the other creative exercises when it’s all painted in such crazy beautiful bright colours with cartoon stars all over it.

Little Miss Sunshine plans her amazing life!

Little Miss Sunshine plans her amazing life!

Leonie says,

“The 2014 Create Your Amazing Year workbook & calendar is an incredibly popular & useful tool to help you plan out & make happen your most incredible year in life or business (or both!). Over the last five years, thousands of women have used this workbook with the most amazing results. It’s the best planning tool available to help you make your year your most exceptional yet!

Used by entrepreneurs, artists, mamas, creatives, coaches, teachers and women of all ages, the Create Your Amazing Year in Life and Biz workbooks are filled with dozens of pages of powerful worksheets & a printable calendar to help you create your amazing new year.”

Peggy says,

“There’s also a business edition, in which I will create my amazing business for 2014 – so watch this space. I’ll be reviewing that one too!”

If you’re ready to make 2014 amazing check it out now! Create Your Amazing Year – Calendar and Workbook 2014

Create your amazing life

Leonie Dawson

Top 5 personal achievements of 2013

Take time to dreamTowards the end of last year I allowed myself some time to reflect upon the year that had passed and plan for the year ahead with this free workbook created by Susannah Conway: Unravelling the Year Ahead.  My top three goals were to pass my driving test, publish my book and to create and sell an e-course. It’s tempting to feel disheartened that I’ve not completed any of these but it’s more life affirming to celebrate that I did do my best!

So this year….

1. I didn’t give up on driving!

I learned, I practiced, I took some tests and then I gave it a rest for a while because there was a lot going on in my life. But I didn’t give up! After we moved I found a new instructor and I’m now learning again, gaining in confidence and in 2014 I will get my driving licence.

2. Publishing professionals like my book!

I’ve not given up on writing my memoir either. This year I spoke to agents, publishers and authors about the book I am writing: The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife. I was told the idea is good, the writing is good, it just needs more time dedicated to it.

3. I launched a free e-course

I’ve written two e-courses, started this new blog, made my first vlog and launched a free e-course. I’m well on my way to building the new business that I dreamed of.

4. Taking care of myself

This was last on my list for too many years. This year I’ve started meditation classes and yoga. I also drink far far less wine than I did this time last year.

5. Moved house

This one was huge. I left behind 13 years of narrowboat life and the identity that it gave me being part of that community. I’ve embraced running water, central heating and all mod-cons in a Devonshire cottage closer to my family. Making a big change is scary but sometimes you’ve just got to feel the fear and do it anyway.

What were your personal achievements this year? It’s healthy to congratulate yourself.

Join in with Kate Takes 5 Listography this week.

Better than a bucket list

Any RoadSo, after admitting that I don’t know who I think I am, but I do know who I think I might like to be I decided to distil my hopes for the next year into a manageable To Do list. Then I decided to also think about why I want these things and how exactly I will get them.

What do you want? Why do you want it? How will you get it?
Be more confident, calm, improve self-esteem. I will be happier. My daughters will be happier. Self-hypnosis MP3Country walks.
Healthier body Live longer. Yoga, running, swimming
Healthier diet Live longer. Eat more fruit, drink more water
Publish a book Achieve a life-long dream! Schedule regular writing time

My list was longer but you get the idea. You could make one of these too. A good way to think about column 2, ‘Why do you want it?’ is to play a little game with yourself called, Why is that important?

More than a To Do list, I guess I would call this an Action Plan. It’s not better than a bucket list* really, it’s just different. This is my plan for Right Now. But making a bucket list at some point would be fun too!

I’ve already been working on these things, bit by bit, since I completed the exercises in my own e-course: How to get what you want, and want what you get. (It’s free.) I even made myself a reward chart to remind myself of why I’m doing these things. There’s no time-scale or pressure but I just give myself a gold star whenever I take action towards my goals. You could use an online tool like Joe’s Goals to do something similar.

But I like a printed one, stuck on the kitchen door that reminds me each day how well I am doing. It’s got a column for activities, a column for stars and a column for rewards. I just copied the rewards from my ‘What do you want?’ column above!

I drew it by hand on a piece of A4. It only took me 5 minutes. Are you going to make one?

*Things to do before you “kick the bucket”.

Top 5 Life Lessons

5 Regrets of the DyingLast March I blogged about Bronnie Ware’s article The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. It is a frequently re-blogged and re-read article about the life-changing concepts that she learned in her work as a nurse in palliative care. It had a profound effect on me and inspired me to write this To Do List (pictured). I still keep it as the screen saver on my phone, and use it as a daily reminder of what really matters.

Now Kate, who blogs at Kate Takes 5 has suggested writing your own top 5 life lessons and linking up to her Listography Linky. I must admit I can’t help borrowing from some of Bronnie’s suggestions to make my own list. So here’s mine.

Top 5 Life Lessons

1. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

This is a nugget of wisdom from the gorgeously quotable Oscar Wilde. To me, reinventing yourself is really about getting back in touch with who you were supposed to be in the first place. It is about remembering yourself.

2. Be brave.

Oh if I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be this. Stop being afraid and just trust yourself!

3. Don’t worry so much.

When I was younger I was a fan of this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist.)  Sadly I just didn’t pay enough attention to it and continued to worry.

“Some of your hurts you have cured, And the sharpest you still have survived, But what torments of grief you endured, From evils which never arrived!”

4. Spend time with the important people.

Imagine looking back on your life and finding that you had been too busy for the people you love the most! In the past I have been guilty of spreading myself too thinly. I was a social butterfly and felt I was missing out if I wasn’t juggling dozens of friendships all at once.

I now feel that I’ve prioritised the people who are important. I have moved nearer to family and I visit my best friends whenever possible.

5. Follow your dreams

I know it sounds cheesy but I love to see people following their life’s purpose. I am so attracted to people who are passionate about something – whether that’s music, art or whatever. If I could give just one piece of advice to my daughters it would be follow your dreams. I even wrote them a poem with that as the title. Because some dreams come true. And I confess, like Kate I have been a bit of a barefoot, beaded hair hippie in my time.

listography-1There are no rules to Listography so if you want to join in just write your Top 5 Life Lessons post on your own blog and then linky it up to Kate’s blog. Next it’s nice to visit some of the other bloggers lists and leave them a comment.

What would be your Top 5 Life Lessons?

Free e-course: I like what I get and, I get what I like!

Get what you want logoIn just 10 days from now you could be on your way to more health, wealth and happiness with a clearer idea of how to improve your relationships and career. Give yourself permission to spend some time planning ahead, and attract a little more of what you want into your life.

Learn a quick and easy technique for appreciating the little things in life.

Use creative writing to issue a suggestion to your subconscious mind.

Try using an online tool to create some motivational artwork – no artistic talent or technical experience required!

Is your life is too busy for a personal development course? This very simple, very quick, no-cost e-course is the solution you are looking for!

You will need

  • Access to a computer and printer
  • Access to the internet
  • An email address

Are you ready to get what you want, and want what you get?

Yes please! <click to join right now!

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Disclaimer: The author of this e-course has no affiliation with the medical profession and does not offer any guarantee of specific results. Responsibility for change or lack of change in your life remains with the individual taking the course.
Problems signing up? Contact me.

Peggy Melmoth