Three Short-Cuts for Reinventing Yourself in Record Time

My USP: Hair that glows.

I have just realised that on this day, 19th November 2002 I went on my first date with my husband. And now here I am, 12 years later about to launch my new e-course Reinvent Yourself After Divorce. When we first separated 18 months ago I went through the usual grieving process, drank plenty of wine and cried over romantic movies. Then I went on a sort of journey of self discovery trying to figure out what I wanted to be next. I tried yoga, meditation, mindfulness, Buddhism, alcoholism, counselling, cognitive behaivoural therapy and pills for anxiety. I also tried visualisation, journalling, poetry, drawing cartoons, reading books, joining online communities, and buying online courses.

1) Take This 10 Day e-Course

I then picked all of the best ideas that worked for me and stuck them into a six week programme so that you don’t have to spend eighteen months trying all that stuff. I also realise that not everyone has six weeks to spare either – which is why you can grab the 10 day version for free!

2) Write Down Your Goals

I find that simply just writing ideas down can really help you to focus on changing things in your life. Since I published my Break-Up Bucket List in June 2014 I’ve managed to tick off several more things on the list, including visiting several friends that live far away, made some videos, created an e-course, and been on a foreign holiday. Other things have proved more challenging – like eat more fruit and drink more water. Why is that?!

3) Realise You’re Already Reinvented!

While you’re reinventing yourself it’s also fun to sometimes review the person you used to be.

I’m part of a business network and learning space on Facebook called No Desk Required:  A free mastermind led by freedompreneurs (and soul mates!) Star Khechara and Les-Paul Dawson. On Wednesdays we share what is weird and wonderful about ourselves, to get in touch with our “Unique Selling Point”.

Star says, “When launching a business many people hold back from fully expressing their true selves – especially the weird and quirky parts! We say weird is cool! Your weirdness is what makes you stand out, it’s what makes you different. Your weirdness is your USP!”

It was quite hard to choose a weird thing from my past to share. Should it be my degree in animation, or my career as a hypnotherapist? I opted for announcing that I once had waist-length dreadlocks made of orange and blue wool and glow-in-the-dark beads. I went to techno parties dressed in a UV fairy skirt and silver doc martens. I mean, hey! Who wouldn’t want hair that glows in the dark? Then there was the time that myself and four friends formed a gang of Special Agents called Dangerchix International – but that’s probably a topic for a whole other blog post.

The point is, who did you used to be and who are you going to be next? If you had a Break-Up Bucket List what would be next up for you to try? What sort of a person did you used to be in the past? Leave me a comment and let me know. And don’t censor yourself with a ‘sensible’ answer. What would you do next week or next year if there were no boundaries or limits?

Wish them happiness

So, I went to another Buddhist meditation class; this is now the second time I’ve been. This time there were a lot less people, which was interesting because we got to ask questions of the Buddhist monk, during his talk. This week’s theme was ‘Wish them happiness.’

What is deep happiness?

He explained that much of the happiness we experience on a day to day basis is a temporary happiness: like what you might gain from eating a slice of cake. This kind of happiness comes from external sources; food, addictions, relationships et cetera. As I understood it, deep happiness then is something that cannot be affected by external sources. It doesn’t fade when the last bite of cake is eaten!

How do you get it?

Of course that was our next question. You will be pleased to know that the Buddhist monk did reveal to us how to attain deep happiness: Wish deep happiness on others. Wish them happiness. The more you wish others happiness the happier you will be.

Feathers

He said that when we are seeking these external sources of happiness it is like we are trying to cover the ground with leather: Instead of wearing shoes. This reminded me of an episode of Fingerbobs: A beautiful and mellow children’s program from the 1970’s. “Yoffy” would tell a story using a selection of paper finger puppet animals, such as Finger Mouse.

I remember one episode where he told the story of the town where people loved to dance, but they had no shoes. Shoes hadn’t been invented yet. The land was very stony and hard. Whenever the people wanted to dance they had to lay down a carpet of feathers to dance upon. Eventually somebody came up with the idea of tying feathers to their feet, and then the people could dance wherever they liked!

Was Yoffy a Buddhist?

Yoffy was played by a Canadian actor called Rick Jones. Was this bearded and bald-headed children’s presenter a gentle and wise Buddhist, sharing his wisdom with the children of the 1970’s? Apparently not. According to Wikipedia:

“At the end of the series Jones was so sick of making the show that he destroyed the finger puppets while the camera was still rolling.”

What’s holding you back?

There’s so much that I want to do. I’ve got an exciting To Do list that’s all about creating things for my new business; written stuff, videos and artwork. Plus my own personal development stuff – things that I’m reading, things that I’m learning…

I recently went on some kind of ‘money mindset’ webinar and learned that my entrepreneur ‘type’ is dynamite! I’m creative and have tons of ideas, but now I need to organise my time. I wonder if I could do drawing and painting in the evenings, listening to music instead of watching telly?

I’ve read that I must commit to my dream: The dream that is my new reinvented life and reinvented business. But as of yet my dream is vague… How can my gifts help other people? Should I create motivational artwork, goal setting calendars and worksheets? I’ve only got a fuzzy idea of where I’m going with this; and yet I’ve written an e-course on goal setting. I suppose I just have to do my own e-course so that I can fine-tune my direction!

The weird thing is that I’m creating the journey that I myself need to go on; I’m creating the courses that I need! I keep surfing the internet like a magpie seeing shiny courses that I want to take… Courses about blogging, being creative, becoming an entrepreneur, online marketing, meditations for confidence, webinars about how to run an online business, and how to have a healthier money mindset. I discover inspiring online entrepreneurs and I want to buy their programs, yet something holds me back. Oh yes – the people selling the courses are saying I’m hesitating to invest in myself… But I can’t help thinking that deep inside somewhere I KNOW this stuff already! I’ve read a lot of books and done a lot of courses and you can keep learning forever without taking action.

I’ve already written the content for at least three e-courses. I love writing! But the next big step is to create the videos.

That is what is holding me back.

Sitting in front of a camera is scary and not as much fun as writing.

What is holding you back? Could you challenge yourself to do something that you’re afraid of?

Brave Me meets Scared Me

Do you know who I think I am?

I must confess that I am afraid. I am lost. I know that I want to start a new business, one that helps people in some way. I know that I need to write on this new blog that I have created. Because for years I blogged at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife but now I’m no longer living on a narrowboat. I’ve lost my identity. I need to reinvent myself. But I don’t even know what I’m going to reinvent myself into. At the moment I’m ‘in between’ my selves. I’m in my chrysalis.

However, I do know that if I wait around for my blog idea and my business idea to be perfect I will never get it off the ground. So, I bravely and honestly present myself here: Completely as yet un-invented. I’m at the in-between stage between Narrowboat Wife and The New Me.

I don’t know what to write.

So what if someone came to me now and said, ‘I’ve started a new blog and I don’t know what to write?’ I suppose I would ask them why did they start that new blog? And if she were honest then Scared Me, (also known as Other Me) would reply,

Because blogging is what I do. It’s woven itself into the fabric of my life. For the last three years I have absorbed like a sponge every bit of blogging information and advice that I can. I’ve been to blogging conferences and done blogging courses. I’ve become a professional blogger. I’ve always loved to write. It would just seem odd if I wasn’t blogging.

Challenges.

I started blogging at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife because everybody was always asking me what is it like, living on a narrowboat with kids? It was difficult and beautiful. There was plenty to write about. We were always having adventures. There were always interesting challenges to confront.

And now? What are your challenges now?

A lack of self-confidence and a lack of identity.

Who do you think you are?

I do know who I want to become. I want to be more confident, and improve my self-esteem. I want to get my driving licence (literally) and get in the driving seat of my own life again (figuratively). I want to take care of my body and my mind with yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, swimming and running. (Maybe not all at once – ha ha!) I want to become healthier; drink more water and eat more fruit. I want to finish writing my book and send the first draft to a publisher. I want to offer personal development e-courses that help other women to find their own true purpose in life.  I want to live in a character cottage beside the sea. I want to run a business that makes other people happy, inspires people and gives other people the confidence to be themselves and achieve their dreams.   I want to be a calm and confident parent. I want to go on foreign holidays. I want to go on a hot air balloon ride! I want to take up drawing and painting again. I want to grow old gracefully and become wise.

So look at me now, in my chrysalis: And see my dreams. Somehow I will reinvent myself. And while I work out how to do it I will blog about it.

What are your dreams? What are your challenges? Are you in a chrysalis? What will you be?

Life is not a rehearsal

I once met this character, we were both narrowboating alone. It was about eight in the morning and looking like drizzle. He had a denim waistcoat and long grey hair. He was bringing his boat down the lock. Mine was waiting on the bollards below the lock waiting to come up. He knew this before he saw my boat because of the windlass in my hand.

“Early start for me” he said.

I smiled and said,

“Where you headed today?”

“Oh I just carry on going until I get fed up. That’s just the way I am me. That’s what I’m like.”

He crossed the lock gate, windlass in hand and headed up to close the other gate.

“Life is not a rehearsal you know,” he called across the lock, grinning.

We worked the lock and he went on his way. Passing like ships in the flight.

“On your own?” he asked.

“No, it’s me and my husband and two kids.” I said. “My husband’s at work, the kids are at nursery, it’s easier to move the boat without them sometimes!”

He smiled, understanding.

“You can just get on with it.”

I love those moments when suddenly everything seems simple. Just carry on going until you get fed up. I love the way you can discover morsels of wisdom from a conversation with a stranger. Have you ever heard a cliché, like “Life is not a rehearsal,” but suddenly you hear it for the very first time? It was just an unexpected reminder to live in the moment. And for that moment, and for the next few locks, I did. I enjoyed the drizzle and the rain, the winding of paddles and the trees and the grass. I noticed the ripples on the water and a heron on a branch.

Just carry on going until you get fed up: my thought for the day.