5 Inspirational Books for the Journey from Lover to Mother

Listography – My Life in Books

Different books may have accompanied you on this journey through life, sometimes just turning up with the right words at the right time. If you reminisce about the books that have made a difference to your life it can sometimes make you see how much you’ve changed over the years.

Today I’m joining in with Kate’s Listography and it was so hard to just pick five books!

1. Wuthering Heights

My passionate and dramatic teenage self was introduced to Heathcliffe and Cathy during one fateful English Literature class. It reassured me that romance should always be crazy and desperate, wild and destructive. I loved it it too much.

“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.”

2.Women Who Love Too Much

A self-help book for women who think that romance should always be crazy and desperate, wild and destructive. I read this in my twenties and began to understand why so many of my relationships had made me unhappy!

3. The Prophet

If I was only allowed to own one book ever, this would be the one. It’s like a guidebook for life; and poetry for the soul. It makes everything alright and answers some of life’s big questions.

“When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep.”

This book made Kahlil Gibran the third bestselling poet in the world after William Shakespeare and Lao-Tzu.

4.What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing

When I gave birth to my first baby my entire perception of life as we know it completely collapsed and realigned itself into something different. There were a million guidebooks to this strange new territory and author Gina Ford wrestled in my mind with Sheila Kitzinger, Tracy Hogg and Janet Balaskas. Thank goodness for Naomi Stadlen whose sensible book reassured me that I myself was the best childcare guru for my own child. I think this book began to bring me back out of the depths of postnatal depression. It gave me confidence and reassurance.

5.Ramlin Rose: The Boatwoman’s Story

However, you need more than confidence and reassurance to bring up children on a narrowboat. Sheila Stewart’s fictional biography of Rose Ramlin is based on the stories of many real life narrowboat wives. It is a joyous story of struggle and triumph and a unique insight into a part of English culture that no longer exists. It inspired me, entertained me and reminded me what I loved about living on a narrowboat.

So what books defined you so far? If you’d like to take up the Listography challenge write your post with your 5 Books of your Life on your own site and then head to Kate Takes 5 blog to link up.

Inspire yourself! Use creative writing to issue a suggestion to your subconscious mind in this free 10 day e-course.

How to enjoy Valentines Day even if you hate it

If you’re single, or if your partner is away this Valentines Day you may be planning to ignore the whole entire thing because it’s “too commercial.” Bah humbug! This is the perfect opportunity to have a Valentines Day that has been planned and designed by the one person who knows you best. That’s you!

Step 1:

Buy yourself a treat. Champagne, chocolate, flowers, or something a little more unusual. If you’re on a budget pick a posy of wild flowers. If you’re on a diet create something delicious but healthy. Check out the Mouthgasmic recipes on Star Khechara.com

Step 2:

Do something you really enjoy. Take yourself on a date, rent a movie you love. Or organise an entirely perfect day for yourself.

Step 3:

Write a love letter to yourself.

What?! That sounds ridiculous. And difficult. But it could be that it’s just been too long since you said something nice to yourself. I had a little help from Story of Mum. Every second Wednesday of the month Story of Mum host a make date.

What is a #somum Make Date?

It’s a chance for mums to get together on Twitter and tweet while we attempt to do something creative. I had absolutely no idea what to write to myself when I arrived on Twitter on Wednesday night this week. But after answering a whole load of questions I was able to write something quite lovely. Read How to write a love letter to yourself.

Watch this.

This is just beautiful. It’s not from Story of Mum, it’s from Soul Pancake. A video of some random people who bravely wrote love letters to themselves. Very cool.

And finally;

My gift to you. This free e-course will help you to appreciate yourself a little more.

Happy Friday!

love,

Warning: This idea could make you happy

They say that life begins at 40 and recently I realised that perhaps it’s because by the time you’re 40 you’ve known at least one or two people who have died too young. You get to a certain age and realise that not everyone enjoys the privilege of growing old. So maybe that’s why in their 40’s some people have a good go at making their dreams come true.

Yesterday I had a perfect day. I didn’t know it was going to be perfect but I did hope that it would be good. I started the day by sticking a post-it note on the bathroom mirror that said, ‘I love you.’ The second one says, ‘How can I make you happy today?’ (These are ideas from You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.) It made me cringe to do it and it makes me cringe to write it, because I’m embarrassed by the thought of such airy-fairy new age love-yourself stuff. After all, most people think that kind of thing doesn’t work, right?

But the reason I’m sharing it here is because I think that little thing made a difference that day.

Admittedly I already had quite a nice day planned. Let me tell you what I did yesterday.

• I began the day with a mindful meditation. (Never tried this before.)
• I had a pub lunch with an old friend. We took her kids and my kids – most of them were dressed as pirates! We all laughed and had fun.
• I treated myself to a massage and manicure as a late birthday present to myself.
• I decided to start painting again and bought some watercolours and a sketchpad.
• I spontaneously bought myself a colourful bunch of flowers.
• When I got home I listened to Perfect Day by Lou Reed, whilst cooking myself one of my favourite meals. I had some glasses of my favourite wine.
• I watched On the Road [DVD] something I’ve been meaning to do for ages. (I love the book.)

Why am I sharing this with you? Because strangely it was a new idea to me to organise a perfect day for myself. It happened almost by accident, but just asking myself that question in the morning, ‘What can I do to make you happy today?’ made me think about the answer. I was lucky enough to be in a position to give myself things that made me happy. I’ve spent a lot of my life wishing that others would make me happy. This day I experimented with being my own best friend. I wouldn’t say that I loved myself yet, but this was quite a successful first date. I might even agree to see me again…

Stick that question on your mirror tomorrow and see what you surprise yourself with!

Flowers, for me? From me? Thank you!

Do you know who I think I am?

I must confess that I am afraid. I am lost. I know that I want to start a new business, one that helps people in some way. I know that I need to write on this new blog that I have created. Because for years I blogged at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife but now I’m no longer living on a narrowboat. I’ve lost my identity. I need to reinvent myself. But I don’t even know what I’m going to reinvent myself into. At the moment I’m ‘in between’ my selves. I’m in my chrysalis.

However, I do know that if I wait around for my blog idea and my business idea to be perfect I will never get it off the ground. So, I bravely and honestly present myself here: Completely as yet un-invented. I’m at the in-between stage between Narrowboat Wife and The New Me.

I don’t know what to write.

So what if someone came to me now and said, ‘I’ve started a new blog and I don’t know what to write?’ I suppose I would ask them why did they start that new blog? And if she were honest then Scared Me, (also known as Other Me) would reply,

Because blogging is what I do. It’s woven itself into the fabric of my life. For the last three years I have absorbed like a sponge every bit of blogging information and advice that I can. I’ve been to blogging conferences and done blogging courses. I’ve become a professional blogger. I’ve always loved to write. It would just seem odd if I wasn’t blogging.

Challenges.

I started blogging at The Real Life of a Narrowboat Wife because everybody was always asking me what is it like, living on a narrowboat with kids? It was difficult and beautiful. There was plenty to write about. We were always having adventures. There were always interesting challenges to confront.

And now? What are your challenges now?

A lack of self-confidence and a lack of identity.

Who do you think you are?

I do know who I want to become. I want to be more confident, and improve my self-esteem. I want to get my driving licence (literally) and get in the driving seat of my own life again (figuratively). I want to take care of my body and my mind with yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, swimming and running. (Maybe not all at once – ha ha!) I want to become healthier; drink more water and eat more fruit. I want to finish writing my book and send the first draft to a publisher. I want to offer personal development e-courses that help other women to find their own true purpose in life.  I want to live in a character cottage beside the sea. I want to run a business that makes other people happy, inspires people and gives other people the confidence to be themselves and achieve their dreams.   I want to be a calm and confident parent. I want to go on foreign holidays. I want to go on a hot air balloon ride! I want to take up drawing and painting again. I want to grow old gracefully and become wise.

So look at me now, in my chrysalis: And see my dreams. Somehow I will reinvent myself. And while I work out how to do it I will blog about it.

What are your dreams? What are your challenges? Are you in a chrysalis? What will you be?